The story
Deep in the forest lives the abominable BitKong, a formidable ape with a penchant for blondes, climbing, and eating custodial technicians. But his real passion… is Bitcoin.
Back in 2009, BitKong was already stacking mbits like a king, which is why some believe he is the original Satoshi, still hoarding coins deep within the jungle. Others think that’s silly. But whatever you believe, being a Bitcoin millionaire is not enough of a thrill for this Gigantopethicus. And that is his only weakness, and possibly his downfall...
BitKong is bored, and he LOVES to gamble. By using an elaborate system of coconuts, ropes and pulleys, he has created a provably fair game that will strain your nerves with a chance at striking it rich as bananas.
And relax, the random number generator uses hashes directly from the Bitcoin blockchain! The prizes are predefined when you press start, and your luck is the only thing that matters. This means that BitKong is 100% verifiably fair. Go ahead and look.
The ground shakes. “So you want to be the new king of the jungle?”, BitKong mimes in sign language. “Give it a go, and see if you can be the hero of this story. Maybe you’ll be lucky, but keep your hands off the girls I have in my cave.”
Travellers have known to return from his lair in their underpants, staring at their feet and sighing, “Well, at least he wasn’t a loan shark!”. Others groaned at his puns, and bought themselves a rolex with their winnings. Now say what you will about this big hairy beast, but his games are always fair.
His game is so addictive that even beloved Bitcoin trolls Chris DeRose and Junseth failed to find anything to complain about.
“It’s totally true and we actually really said this.” - Chris DeRose and Junseth, Hosts of the Bitcoin Uncensored Podcast.
Play BitKong, get rich, and tell girls you are an early adopter. They’ll be impressed. Or lose everything and struggle to explain it to your wife. Preferably something in the middle. Just have fun!
Remember to try the demo, it’s FREE. *Tarzan yell*
P.S. Please let him do this, at least he’s not smashing buildings anymore.
Statistics
Deep in the forest lives the abominable BitKong, a formidable ape
Deep in the forest lives the abominable